Surrender (Forbidden #3) Read online

  Surrender

  Michelle Betham

  A Forbidden novel

  (The Forbidden Series Book #3)

  Copyright © Michelle Betham 2016

  All rights reserved.

  Table of Contents

  Also by the author

  Music from The Forbidden Series Playlist

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Fifteen Months Later

  About the Author

  Contact the Author

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, without the prior permission of the author.

  This book has been written to entertain, therefore the story, characters and events are very much a work of the author’s imagination, and are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to any person, places or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Also by Michelle Betham

  Titles published through HarperImpulse (A division of HarperCollins Publishers)

  Striker

  Extra Time

  Final Score

  The First Christmas Without You (A HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance Novella)

  Shirley Valentine Goes to Vegas

  Self-Published titles

  No Matter What

  Illusions of Love

  See You At The Show

  Unbreakable

  Revolution – The Lone Riders M/C Series Book #1

  Retribution – The Lone Riders M/C Series Book #2

  Resurrection – The Lone Riders MC Series Book #3

  Allure – The Forbidden Series Book #1

  Obsession – The Forbidden Series Book #2

  For those who never stopped believing in me, even when I didn’t always believe in myself.

  Thank you.

  A selection of music from The Forbidden Series Playlist

  ‘Surrender’ – Book #3

  Never Give All Your Heart - Joe Bonamassa

  My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

  All The Way To Fall - Kari Kimmel

  I Will Not Go Quietly - Don Henley

  Tell That Devil - Hayden Panettiere

  Can’t Feel My Face - The Weeknd

  Set Me Free - Jaki Graham

  Shattered Dreams - Johnny Hates Jazz

  What I did for Love - David Guetta feat. Emeli Sande

  Forever Man - Eric Clapton

  The complete ‘Forbidden Series Playlist’ can be found on Spotify.

  http://spoti.fi/1W8P8dl

  One

  Kira

  His hand slides around on to my stomach, his fingers splaying out over my naked skin and I sigh quietly as his mouth trails across my shoulder.

  I fall back against him and close my eyes, arching my back as he pushes my hair away from my neck, his breath hot and heavy as he kisses it, and I laugh low and dirty as he whispers filthy promises I hope to Christ he’s going to keep.

  He turns me around and I lean back against the porch railings, the morning sun beating down on my bare shoulders as he kisses me – long, deep kisses that make my stomach dip and my heart beat faster and I wind my fingers in his hair as he lifts me up and sits me down. I grab on to the railings to steady myself, raising my hips slightly as he hooks his fingers into the sides of my knickers and drags them down, tossing them on to the porch floor before he takes hold of my ankles and pulls my legs around him.

  ‘Morning, gorgeous.’ He flashes me that grin of his that’s been making my knees go weak for over a year now as he enters me slowly.

  ‘Right back at ya, mister,’ I breathe, gripping the railings tighter as I feel him sink deeper into me, and I can’t help but smile as he winks at me and grins again – that cocky, arrogant grin that should’ve been a warning sign, but instead it became like a magnet, drawing me back to him; my first love.

  ‘Have I told you how beautiful you look when I’m fucking you?’ he murmurs, his fingers digging into my thighs as he thrusts into me.

  ‘All the time,’ I whisper, and I smile again, and then he laughs, a low, dirty laugh that makes me shiver, and I ready myself for the climax that’s coming; I can feel it.

  ‘Then I’m telling you again.’ His mouth touches mine as he speaks, and I fall forward against him and he catches me, holding me as we reach our endgame together, and it’s so peaceful. So calm. It’s like we’re the only two people alive, it’s so quiet. Everything is so quiet here in our beautiful, secluded waterfront home.

  ‘You know, just sometimes, maybe, we should think about starting the day with a proper breakfast.’ I smile, and he laughs again, and I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a long time.

  ‘Yeah. Thing is though, kid, I’m pretty much OK with the routine we’ve already got.’

  He lifts me down and flashes me that grin again as he hands me back my knickers. I take them from him and he slides a hand around onto my bottom, pushing me against him. ‘You want me to put these back on?’

  ‘Not particularly, no.’ He rests his mouth against mine and I sigh quietly, breathing him in. ‘I much prefer you naked.’

  ‘Do you now.’

  ‘Yeah. I think you should be naked a lot more.’

  ‘Well, you’re not going to get everything you want, so you better get used to that.’

  ‘You love giving me what I want.’

  ‘I wouldn’t be too sure.’

  His laugh comes from the very pit of his stomach and I feel it vibrate against me. ‘You love it.’

  I arch an eyebrow as I reach down and cup his balls, squeezing just a tad harder than was necessary. ‘I do, do I?’

  ‘Bitch,’ he groans, his fingers digging into my thigh and I loosen my grip, just a touch, and then I kiss him, laughing quietly, keeping my mouth on his as I feel him grow hard against my hand.

  ‘Yeah, but, you want this bitch. Right?’

  ‘Jesus, do I.’

  His hands drop to my hips and he swings me around so I face the railings, and I grab on to them, leaning forward as he pulls my hips back, thrusting inside me again.

  The man I’ve loved for so long.

  Too long.

  The man I’m finally going to marry.

  Neal

  I left her sleeping. There was no need to wake her. We were out pretty late last night, and just because I have trouble sleeping it doesn’t mean she has to be disturbed too. I left her a note, letting her know where I am, but I doubt I’ll see her until dinner tonight. She won’t come to the club. Oh, she’s been to Bam-Bams, countless times, she likes it there. She goes there a lot, with her little gang of girlfriends. But we’ve been together almost eight months now and she’s never once set foot inside The Playroom. It’s not her “thing”. She won’t even talk about it. She’s accepted that, sometimes, I have to go there; be there. But she still likes to kid herself it doesn’t exist, which I find both irritating and frustrating but I don’t want to be alone. And she was there.

  It’s been just over a year since Kira left me, and Helen never once gave up on her pursuit of me, probably helped on by Barry, but at some point I stopped caring. I just didn’t want to be alone. And Helen was there. And she wasn’t Kira. She wasn’t anything like Kira, and that’s what I needed – somebody who didn’t remind me of Kira.

  ‘You’re in early.’

  I look up at the sound of my brother’s voice. ‘So are you.’ I frown slightly as he perches himself on the edge of my desk. ‘Something wrong?’

  ‘You doing anything tonight?’

  ‘I promised Helen I’d take her to her favourite restaurant.’ Because I feel guilty, for thin
gs she doesn’t even know about. ‘Why?’

  ‘Just thought you might like to come over for dinner, is all.’

  ‘Why?’ I repeat. Not that I’m suspicious of him or anything. But I guess I’m still learning to let go of the wariness I feel when I’m around him. That hasn’t gone completely. Not yet.

  ‘Not everything I do has an ulterior motive, Neal. Besides, you guys haven’t really had a chance to get to know Elle properly yet, have you?’

  Elle Evans – daughter of one of our wealthiest and most important clients, and now Barry’s girlfriend of the past three months. He messes her about, and we stand to lose millions of dollars’ worth of business, and don’t think I haven’t had that talk with him. I have. Several times.

  ‘I’ve been busy.’

  ‘You’ve been avoiding it.’

  ‘Yeah, well, dinner parties and double-dating isn’t really high on my list of things I’m in a hurry to do right now.’

  He throws me a look before he stands up and heads for the door. ‘It’s been over a year now, Neal. Get over her. Go talk to Joey, OK? Go ask him the question I know you’re too fucking scared to ask, and that’s because I think you already know the answer. She’s over you, bro.’

  I watch him leave; watch him close the door behind him and his words sink into my brain like a cruel and unnecessary blow and I hope, one day, he has his heart ripped out the way mine was torn from me. Then he’ll know how hard it is to get over that.

  You can’t. You just learn to deal with it.

  Life goes on.

  Whether you like it or not.

  Two

  Kira

  We own a small bar on the main street in town – JK’s. Our initials. Jon and Kira. A little twee, perhaps? Maybe. I just wanted to do something that meant I could spend time with the man I love. Something that actually nudged ordinary. Something relatively normal. And this, it’s nice. The bar might not be big but it’s become a meeting place for a lot of people we like to call regulars now because everyone here in town, they’ve welcomed me and Jon with open arms. From the day we first arrived to start our new and uncertain life they were there, with offers of support and invites to dinner. We had friends before we’d even unpacked our first suitcase. And they know nothing about our past, no details of who we used to be, and that’s just how we want it. To them we’re just the English couple who wanted a fresh start, and beyond that they’ve asked no questions. And for that both Jon and I are grateful. Because we needed to make that fresh start, without the past holding us back. And that’s exactly what we got – a brand new start; a whole new life.

  ‘What you got there?’ Jon asks as he hauls a crate of beer up onto the bar, where I’m sitting eating toast and checking through the mail we didn’t have time to sort through at home.

  ‘Wedding invitation,’ I reply, feeding him the last of my toast.

  ‘Joey and Benni?’

  ‘Who else do we know who’s getting married?’

  He smiles and jerks his head back and I lean over to let him kiss me, tasting butter from the toast on his lips. ‘Us.’

  I return his smile and kiss him back. ‘Yeah, but, I don’t think either of us need a reminder about turning up for that one.’ I slide down from the bar and shove the post back into my bag.

  ‘So, when do they want us in New York?’ Jon begins taking the beer from the crate and for a few seconds I just watch him. We’ve barely even mentioned New York since we came here. It’s a place that’s felt so far away these past few months, but now we’re going back, for the first time since I turned my back on that other life I’d almost started living. And I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it just yet.

  ‘A couple of days before the wedding, Joey says.’ I edge closer to Jon and rest my chin on his shoulder, sliding my hand down the back pocket of his jeans. ‘So, we might be spending New Year in New York, but at least we get Christmas at home.’

  ‘And you’re OK with that?’

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

  He takes my hand and turns to face me. ‘I just thought you might want to spend this Christmas with Joey and Benni, that’s all. I mean, you told me last Christmas was the first one you’d spent apart from Joey in ten years, and what with him getting married and everything, and our wedding not that far away…’

  ‘A lot’s changed, Jon. Things are very different. We’ve all moved on. Joey’s got Benni now, and all the New York Bam-Bams family, and I’ve…’ I grab hold of his shirt and pull him closer, kissing him deep and dirty as he groans into me, ‘I’ve got you.’

  He laughs quietly, his fingers brushing against the side of my neck, and I shiver. ‘Yeah. You got me.’ He takes my left hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing the engagement ring he put on there just a few months ago. ‘You got me good.’

  I slide a hand around the back of his neck and push him down, kissing him slowly, loving the normality this new life has brought me. Is this what I could have had if we’d just taken our chances and ran, all those years ago? Or would we have constantly been looking over our shoulders? Maybe it’s fate we were meant to wait all this time before we could finally love each other the way we never could before. All I know is he’s here now, and we’re together, and I love him with every beat of my battered heart.

  ‘And you’re alright? About going back to New York?’

  I pull back from him slightly and frown. But there’s a part of me that always knew, from the second Joey and Benni announced that they were getting married, that this conversation was going to happen. ‘I’m fine about it.’ But I also know that neither of us is going to mention the real reason why I may be just a little unsure about my return to Manhattan. We both know it’s there, like a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off, but nobody’s going to say anything. Not until we have to.

  He kisses my forehead and squeezes my waist. ‘OK.’ And then he lets go of me and goes back to unpacking the beer.

  Subject closed.

  For now.

  And our new life continues.

  Neal

  I throw the invitation down onto the bar and pour myself a shot of whiskey.

  ‘Bit early for that, isn’t it?’

  I glance up, fixing Joey with a look that tells him I’m not really in the mood.

  ‘You got yours, then,’ he says, picking up the invitation and turning it over in his hand.

  ‘You could’ve just shoved it under my office door. You didn’t need to post it when we see each other almost every day.’

  He looks at me and purses his lips and I hope he isn’t gonna launch into one of his lectures. I’ve had a few of those over this past year, and even though I probably needed and deserved most of them, I’m really not in the mood to hear one now. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’

  ‘About what?’ I ask, pouring myself a second whiskey. And he’s right, it is a bit early but fuck it. I need the hit.

  ‘You know what.’ He leans over the bar and takes the whiskey right out of my hand.

  ‘Hey! What the hell are you doing?’

  ‘I’m making you a coffee,’ he says, striding back behind the bar and switching on the machine.

  ‘What exactly am I supposed to be pleased about, Joey?’ I lean back against the counter and fold my arms, watching him as he fusses about fetching me a mug and tidying up the small mess I’ve made in the ten minutes since I arrived here at The Playroom.

  ‘Nothing. Forget I said anything.’

  I push a hand through my hair and sigh quietly, bowing my head and breathing in deep. ‘Is she coming, Joey?’ I look up, and his eyes meet mine, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to.

  ‘Drink this.’

  ‘I’m OK, Joey.’

  Again, he just looks at me and stays silent. He knows I’m really not OK. I haven’t been OK since the day she walked out of my life, I’ve just learned to get on with things. I’ve learned to accept that, sometimes, life deals you shit and you’ve just got to live with it.

&n
bsp; ‘How’s Helen?’

  He leans back against the counter behind him and mirrors my stance, folding his arms, his eyes on me as I sip my coffee.

  I shrug. ‘She’s fine. To be honest, you probably see more of her than I do.’

  ‘She’s still refusing to set foot in here, then?’

  ‘Yep.’ I can’t help a small smile escaping. ‘But it’s nice to see you’ve finally gotten over your Playroom phobia.’

  He smiles back, and I’m grateful, that he comes down here more regularly, even though I know he’s just checking up on me. It’s what he does, he’s a naturally caring person. ‘Yes, well, there’s no weird stuff going on in here at half past ten in the morning so I figure I’m safe.’

  I laugh quietly and take another sip of coffee, eyeing the tumbler of whiskey which is still sitting on the bar. If I could just reach out and grab it it’d make this coffee even more welcome than it already is. But Joey reads my mind and removes it from within grasping distance, pouring it down the sink.

  ‘Hey, Joey, come on! That’s my best bourbon that is.’

  ‘You’re hardly destitute, Blue Eyes. I don’t think one wasted shot is going to bankrupt you. And I hope this isn’t becoming a habit of yours.’

  ‘What?’

  I finish the coffee and place the mug down behind me.

  ‘Drinking. Before lunch.’

  ‘I’m just having a bad few days, Joey, is all.’

  Neither of us says anything for a couple of beats, and I dig my hands into my pockets because I know where this conversation’s going now. Both of us do.